Hostage

by B L Miller

part 4

They moved along in silence, both women caught up in their own thoughts. Gabrielle alternated between being happy that her Xena had been returned to her to being terrified that the warlord would return to being worried about what would happen when the Amazons found them. She had no intention of returning to the village anytime soon, especially with Xena. Gabrielle hoped that they could get far away from the village and she could communicate with Ephiny through a messenger until things were settled. She worried about Solari and Eponin, but worried about Xena more. She remembered how the women warriors reacted when Terreis was killed. They wanted to declare war on the Centaurs and then when they discovered the truth they went after Krykus with blood in their eyes and vengeance in their hearts. If they went after Xena, Gabrielle knew she'd be powerless to stop them, even as queen.

Up on top of Argo, Xena was lost in her own thoughts. She had no idea what happened to turn her into a warlord again or how she managed to regain her memory, although she suspected that somehow the gods were involved. It made no difference to her though. She was the one that hurt Gabrielle. It was her hands that caused all the bruises, including the nasty looking shiner the bard still sported. Xena looked down out the corner of her eye to see the bruise again. No longer the deep purple, it was still black and blue with a yellow tinge around it. She wondered if she had broken any bones in Gabrielle's face with the force her blows. She closed her eyes in pain as she replayed the scene in her head over and over again. Gabrielle crying for her to stop, to please stop hurting her. 'How can you stand to be near me, Gabrielle?' she thought to herself. 'How can you stand to be this animal that hurt you so much? That hurt your friends? Our friends?' she replayed the scene in the tavern, Gabrielle risking her life to protect Eponin and Solari. In her mind's eye she

saw her chakram flying through the air, slicing into her friend's leg over and over again. The scene changed to Gabrielle lying naked beneath her, begging for release. It was too much for Xena to bear and she shook her head visibly to remove the thought from her mind. Gabrielle noticed but said nothing, unsure of what was going on in Xena's mind. She thought that the warrior was simply still trying to figure out what had happened in the last few days. The bard decided to concentrate on the story she would have to tell Xena about what had happened the last few days, what lies she would have to come up with to fill the gaps in time. She debated about telling her about the battle in the tavern, finally deciding that it could wait until another time, especially since she planned on getting them as far away from the Amazon village as possible. She had no way of knowing that Xena had other plans.

Xena removed her armor, weapons, and boots and stepped into the pond, letting the water wash away the stench and gore of the recent battle from both her and her leathers. She painfully noted that Gabrielle decided to get the fire going instead of joining her, despite the fact that the bard was just as filthy as she was. Xena had no way of knowing that the young queen simply needed more time to come up with a story to tell her. The warrior was certain that Gabrielle just wanted to be as far away from her as possible. She looked down at her hands, now balled into fists. 'As far away from these as possible.' she thought to herself.

She found Gabrielle in the cave pulling scrolls out of the saddlebag along with her clothes, silently confirming both of their suspicions that the gods had been involved in Xena's amnesia. The bard tossed her a clean shift before grabbing her own clothes. "I'll go wash up and then we can eat and talk." she said as she headed for the pond.

Both her body and clothes clean, Gabrielle returned to the cave to find Xena staring at the fire, lost in thought. "Hey, why don't I get dinner started. You must be famished." as if on cue, the bard's own stomach grumbled. Xena forced a smile.

"Sure, Gabrielle. That sounds good." in truth, the last thing the warrior was thinking about was food. All she thought about was what she had done to hurt the bard during the last few days, and the wrath of the Amazons that she would soon face. She had no doubt that Gabrielle would want to head for the village, to be free from the monster that had terrorized her, used her, even raped her. Yet looking across the fire at the young woman heating up the last of their biscuits, Xena sensed no anger or fear from Gabrielle. Indeed, the bard acted as if nothing at all had happened during the last few days.

They ate their meager dinner in silence, but the tension was palpable. Gabrielle afraid that Xena wouldn't believe her lies and the warrior afraid that the bard would reveal the entire ugly truth to her and then announce that she was leaving her forever. 'I certainly would deserve it.' Xena thought. 'I deserve to be handed over to the Amazons, to face my crimes and the punishment they choose for me, no doubt death.' her only consolation was that she was certain that Ephiny wouldn't make Gabrielle carry out her sentence. Only when neither woman could stand the silence any more did Xena speak. "What happened?" a simple question but one which required a thousand answers. Gabrielle took a deep breath and took a long swallow from the waterskin before speaking.

"From what I can tell, the gods took away your memory. You can't remember anything from the last few days? Nothing at all?" Gabrielle had to be certain of that before she started her story. Xena shook her head, nervously waiting for the bard to tell her in full detail all the horrible things she had done. Gabrielle licked her lips and looked into the fire. She knew she wouldn't be able to lie if she looked Xena in the face. "Well, you remember my bad feeling and how I needed you to hold me..."

"Yes, that's the last thing I remember."

"When I woke up the next morning, it was as if we didn't know each other, like all your memories had been wiped away. You had no idea where we were or what we were doing out there. You didn't even know who I was." she continued to stare at the fire. "I think Ares was trying to bring you back to him. All my things were gone, the scrolls, my spare clothes, even the lamb." Xena now noticed the small wooden toy sitting in the bard's lap, small fingers gently stroking it. "I didn't know what to do so I suggested that we head for the Amazons. I thought maybe Saras would be able to help."

"Gabrielle, when we made camp, we were less than a full day from the Amazons. Why haven't we reached them yet?" she noted that the bard had made no mention of waking up and finding herself tied up.

"Oh, Argo was favoring one leg and you suggested that we camp here for a few days to let her heal up. You said you didn't want to push her. We were heading for the Amazons today when we came across those men. They were kidnapping women from the nearby village and we stopped to help them." Gabrielle felt her skin flush and prayed that the warrior wouldn't notice her nervousness at the lies.

"Where did you get all those bruises? Those are too old to be from a fight today." Xena realized that Gabrielle was completely lying to her, avoiding any mention of the tavern or even that she was a warlord again.

"Oh those." the bard laughed as if they were nothing. "We ran into some bandits just before Argo started limping. I guess I wasn't as careful as I usually am."

"Oh." Xena said quietly. 'Are you afraid, Gabrielle? Are you afraid to tell me the whole horrid truth? That I beat you, hurt you, took you? Are you so scared of me now that you have to lie?' she thought. "So I guess we're heading for the Amazons now?" she asked, fully expecting the bard to lead her to whatever trap was waiting.

"Oh no." Gabrielle exclaimed a little too forcefully. "Now that you're better I thought perhaps we'd head west, go visit Athens or something. There's no need to visit the Amazons right now." she silently feared that Xena would push the issue knowing how much she usually wanted to see Ephiny whenever they were in the area.

It was Xena's turn to stare at the flames. She understood exactly what Gabrielle was trying to do now. Protect her. 'How can you do this, Gabrielle? How can you not only stay with me but try to protect me from the punishment I deserve? You won't even tell me the truth about what happened. After all that I've done to you, you still want to keep me safe. I don't deserve your love, Gabrielle. I deserve you hate, certainly, your anger and your fear, but not your love. It doesn't matter if the gods were involved or not. I'm still a warlord, an animal that deserves to be taken down for what I've done. I can't let you do this. I just can't.' "All right, Gabrielle. If you want to go to Athens, then we will."

"Really?" the bard said excitedly. "Can we leave first thing in the morning? I promise I'll get up." she wanted to put as much distance between them and the Amazons as possible once they found out that Xena wouldn't be returning her hostage as planned. Gabrielle had no doubt that the women warriors were already looking for them and would be out in full force once the noonday sun showed no sign of her.

"First thing, Gabrielle. I promise." she just didn't promise where they were going.

Sleep came easily to Gabrielle for the first time in almost a quarter moon, content with the knowledge that her Xena was back. The hug before bed was gentle and warm and she felt safe again in her warrior's arms. She tried not to think about what had happened between them sexually, knowing in her heart that it would never happen again. The warlord Xena had used her in an attempt to gain control of the Amazons, but the sad truth was that her Xena never wanted her in that way and never would. She would have to be content with the memories of their passion. She hugged the wooden lamb close to her body and let the memories of their first winter solstice together calm her into slumber.

Xena laid awake long after the bard had fallen asleep. She crept over and studied Gabrielle's face in the firelight, letting each fading bruise stab through her heart. "You didn't deserve this." she whispered, letting her finger barely brush over the shiner as her vision blurred with unshed tears. "You didn't deserve to be beaten and you don't have to try to protect me. I know what I did and I'm ready to face it. You won't have to lie for me anymore." she leaned forward and placed the softest of kisses on Gabrielle's forehead before grabbing the saddlebags and heading for her own side of the fire.

Gabrielle woke to the smell of fresh rabbit cooking on the fire. "Mmm, smells good." she yawned.

"That's because you woke up before I had a chance to burn it." Xena replied, forcing a smile. This wasn't going to be easy. Already she was tempted to just run away with Gabrielle, run far away from the Amazons and her past and just be with the woman she loved. She took another look at the shiner on the bard's face and it strengthened her resolve. She was doing the right thing, she told herself. This was the right thing for Gabrielle. Satisfied that the rabbit was done, Xena pulled it off of the spit and split it between them. She also handed Gabrielle a cup of tea. "Here, I made you some tea. It's a little strong, sorry." she deliberately made it strong to hide the taste of the extra herbs she had added to it. She watched as the bard quickly ate her breakfast, washing it down with the tea. Xena pushed her food around on her plate, having absolutely no appetite. Before Gabrielle could get up, the warrior stood and took her plate. "We can take care of these later."

"Later?" she asked, watching Xena scrape the dirty dishes and put them into the saddlebag. "I thought we were going to get an early start towards Athens." she stood up and immediately felt dizzy. In an instant Xena was there, lending her a steady arm to help her back down to the ground. "Xena? I don't feel so good."

"Shh, you'll be fine. Everything will be fine soon." she said soothingly, cradling the bard in her arms.

"Xena?" the green eyes opened wide with realization. "You...you did something." her head swam and her vision blurred. It was a battle to maintain consciousness.

"I just gave you some herbs to make you sleep for a while. You'll be fine. Saras will know what to do." she watched Gabrielle's eyes close despite the bard's best efforts to keep them open.

"Saras..." she mumbled. "No...Amazons...trap." her head fell limply to the side. Xena pulled her into her lap and held her close.

"I know, Gabrielle...I know."

"What is she doing?" Artemis yelled as she stormed into Athena's realm. "I thought you restored her memory."

"I did." the Goddess of Wisdom replied, already knowing what her sister was upset about.

"Then why did she drug Gabrielle and why is she going after the ransom?" the Moon Goddess roared.

"Artemis, I don't think she is going after the ransom. I think she's turning herself in to the Amazons."

"What? That's insane. They'll kill her for what she did to them, to their queen. It's a suicide mission. I'm going down there right now and putting and end to this madness."

"You will do nothing of the sort." both goddesses turned to see Zeus standing there. He waved his hand and they were joined by the surprised Ares. "I've had enough of this nonsense. The three of you have been using those mortals like toys." the blond bearded god glared at his son. "You. This obsession you have with Xena is utterly ridiculous. She's just a mortal." he turned to his favorite daughter. "Athena...I would have expected better from you. Taking away her memory, subjecting that poor girl to a warlord like that. What were you thinking?"

"Father, I was just trying to-"

"You were trying to best Ares and you used mortals to do it. Well, you won, you proved your point. It's over." he said authoritatively.

"But Father..." Artemis interrupted. "Xena's walking into a trap. We have to do something."

"I've been watching, Art. From what I can see, the former prodigy of Ares is doing this willingly. She no doubt is aware that your Amazons are waiting for her. If she chooses to face them, then she must have her reasons. I won't allow you..." he looked at Ares and Athena. "...any of you, to interfere."

"But we've already interfered." Athena protested. "We have to set things right now."

"Enough!" Zeus roared, his deep voice reverberating off the walls of Athena's realm. "I'm telling the three of you to leave her alone." he looked at the Goddess of Wisdom. "Athena, all you did was remove her memory, you didn't make her a warlord. The things that she did, she did of her own volition." he glared at his son. "No matter how much you would like to take credit for Xena, her actions were her own." he turned back to his daughters. "I've watched what she's done over the summers. The wars, the looting and killing. So far she's never had to truly pay for her crimes. Perhaps it is time. Artemis, once she crosses the border onto Amazon land, you are the only one who can touch her and I'm telling you right now, stay out of it." he glanced at the table covered with rubble. "And this!" he threw a thunderbolt at the table, destroying it. "I would have expected this from my God of War, but from you, Artemis? I never thought you were so vindictive. It's over, now. Do I make myself clear?" he looked at each of them, receiving silent nods of understanding. "Mortals aren't as helpless as we think. Perhaps if we stopped interfering in their lives so much they wouldn't have as many problems." he said before turning to his son. "And you...I think you and I need to have a little talk." with that, Zeus disappeared, taking Ares with him.

Xena stopped less than a candlemark from the Amazon territory and dismounted, the limp bard in her arms. She sat down and leaned against a thick tree, Gabrielle in her arms.

She opened the waterskin filled with the drugged tea and slowly forced as much of it down the unconscious woman's throat as she dared. She was confident that the bard would not wake up until sometime tomorrow. By then Xena was certain that she'd be visiting Hades, this time with no return ticket for Charon's boat. She tilted Gabrielle's head back to study her face, the blue eyes deliberately avoiding the shiner. Xena didn't want to remember her that way. She ran her fingers over the full lips, remembering how she kissed them forcefully when she seduced Gabrielle. She pulled the bard up and lightly brushed her own lips against them, reveling in their softness. She ran her fingers through the golden locks, her thumb across the soft cheek. She kissed the closed eyelids and returned to Gabrielle's lips one last time before tightly hugging the woman she loved against her. The strong, stoic warrior felt the lump in her throat and refused to stop it, letting the tears fall down her cheeks. "I love you Gabrielle. I'm sorry I never told you. I'm so sorry." she buried her head in the bard's neck and let herself cry until no more tears came. Xena sniffled a few times, looked up at the position of the sun, and wiped her eyes. "I guess it's time." she said sadly.

The scout reported what she saw to Ephiny. That Xena was on her way, the queen either unconscious or dead in her arms. In the span of a few heartbeats, the warriors and archers were all in position in their pits or in the trees. Crossbows were cocked and ready, swords were out of their scabbards and in the hands of the ready warriors. Ephiny and Ilanna crouched in the darkness of their pit, the blond ruler holding her crossbow and praying to Artemis not to have to use it. She listened to the bird calls from the advance scouts and tracked the progress of Xena toward the field. It became extremely quiet and every woman on the field tensed and waited for the final signal, the one that would alert them that the woman holding their queen hostage was in the middle of the circle.

Xena watched and listened as she crossed over the border. She knew the sounds she heard were not birds, but rather the warning calls of the scouts. She guided Argo straight into the middle of the field, where a large chest filled with dinars sat in wait on a chariot. She looked around without moving her head, trying to spot the hidden warriors that no doubt were waiting for her. Seeing none meant nothing, she knew they were there. She pulled Argo to a stop right next to the chariot. She heard one last call and watched as dozens of squares of earth lifted to reveal warriors and archers, all aiming at her. She held Gabrielle in her arms and remained still. The Amazons exited their pits and formed a well armed circle around her. Ephiny removed her bird mask and leveled her crossbow at the raven haired woman. "Xena! Put Gabrielle down or I swear to Artemis I'll kill you myself." No one dared move, all knowing that their queen's life was in the hands of the Warrior Princess, Destroyer of Nations. Xena opened her hand and let Argo's reins fall loosely to the ground.

"Argo, down." following her master's orders, the golden mare knelt down until Xena was able to step off without letting go of her precious cargo. She stood several paces away from Ephiny and knelt down, gently setting the unconscious woman on the ground. The blond ruler watched as Xena stood and took two steps back from Gabrielle. Ephiny swore that she saw the leather-clad woman mouth the word good-bye.

"Back away from her...more." the blond ruler ordered, motioning with her crossbow. Xena did as instructed, taking four steps back. She watched as Saras and two assistants carrying a litter broke through the circle and surrounded Gabrielle. Within heartbeats they had the queen on the litter and whisked her away to the healer's hut. No one missed the glaring black eye on the unconscious woman and all knew who was responsible. Xena felt the angry eyes of the Amazons focused on her and waited for the sound of arrows to come whizzing at her. Ephiny took a step forward. "Put your weapons down...Now!" everyone held their breath as Xena reached for her chakram. They all knew just how dangerous the flying weapon was in her hands, Eponin was evidence of that. A collective release of breath was heard as she tossed the chakram harmlessly on the ground in front of Ephiny. It was followed by her breast dagger. Xena made certain to make her movements appear as non-threatening as possible, but also knew that when it came to her, even the most innocent looking movement could prove deadly should she chose it to be so. She pulled her sword out of the scabbard and darted her eyes about the crowd in front of her. Archers' fingers twitched on their crossbow triggers, warrior's swords were out in front of their bodies, just waiting for the word to attack. Xena turned the sword around in her hand until she was holding the blade rather than the hilt and tossed the weapon on the ground with the others. Although weaponless, the Amazons knew that Xena was still quite formidable and kept their distance lest she suddenly turn and become violent. "Down." Ephiny ordered. Xena glared at the blond ruler for a moment before lowering her head and kneeling down in front of her. She heard the sounds of warriors moving toward her from behind and quickly found her arms bound behind her. Fairly certain that the threat was over, Ephiny lowered her crossbow and moved until she was between Xena and her weapons. The blond woman's eyes burned with anger. "Xena, you are under arrest for crimes against the Amazon nation. For the kidnapping and ransoming of our queen and for the physical assault on two of our warriors." she nodded to the warriors behind Xena. They reached down and hoisted the raven-haired woman to her feet. Ephiny motioned them back and stepped in so only Xena could hear her. "I don't know what you did to Gabrielle, but I swear you'll pay. You'll pay for Eponin, you'll pay for Solari, and you'll pay for our queen. She trusted you and you betrayed that trust." she nodded to the warriors standing behind Xena. "Take her to the jail."

Six warriors stood guard as Xena's armor and leathers were removed. They dressed her in a simple tunic and skirt before fastening the manacles to her ankles and wrists. Xena's arms were suspended above her, forcing her to remain standing to avoid straining her shoulders. Despite the extraordinary restraints, two guards stayed outside her cell door when the others left. Xena looked at the thick chains, the unusual manacles, and the large granite slab. She had no doubt that they were made especially for her. Even though she didn't plan on escaping, the warrior noted that the Amazons had made certain that it wasn't even a remote possibility. Xena was frankly surprised that they even bothered to capture her. It didn't matter, she thought to herself. Once they found out what she had done to Gabrielle, she'd be dead soon enough.

Saras sniffed the waterskin retrieved from Xena's belongings and examined the multitude of small pouches of herbs. Ephiny waited impatiently, her eyes moving from the unconscious queen to the healer and back again. Finally her patience broke. "Saras, will you tell me what's going on?"

"From what I can tell, she's been drugged."

"I could have told you that." the ruler said in an exasperated tone. "Is she going to be all right?"

"She'll be fine. From what I can tell, she's just in a deep sleep, no doubt to keep her from escaping from Xena." the healer said bitterly. "There's nothing we can do right now. We just have to wait for her to wake up."

Darkness had fallen long ago. Xena's legs ached and her shoulders burned from being left in a standing position for so long. She opened her eyes when she heard the hushed whispers outside the cell door. The door opened and five Amazons entered. The guard shut the door behind them and walked away. "Hello Xena." the largest Amazon said as she pulled on a leather glove, then covered it with a glove made of chain mail. "My name is Gryne. I'm a friend of Eponin's. You remember her, don't you?" she flexed her gloved hand. Xena stared at the Amazon, her face revealing no emotion. The first blow split her lip. "You remember how you sliced her leg open? How you left her there to bleed to death?" the next blow struck just below her ribs, the force enough to lift the tall warrior off the ground. "Just another victim of the warrior princess, right?" another blow. "Just a simple flick of your wrist and that damned weapon of yours ruined one of the finest warriors the Amazons have ever known." another blow. "You like to inflict pain? You like to see people begging you for mercy? Did you enjoy beating our queen?" each question was followed with another punch from the gloved hand. Even without the glove, the smithy's punches would have caused damage. "She trusted you and now you'll pay for betraying that trust." the other women moved closer and Xena steeled herself for a long and painful lesson in Amazon justice.

The night was quiet save for the occasional owl hooting off in the distance. Eponin rolled onto her side and watched as the young queen began to stir. The stocky warrior reached over to the small table next to her bed and lit the short candle, adding the barest hint of light to the room. "Xena?"

"Gabrielle, it's Eponin." she watched the bard try to sit up, only to fall back down from the dizziness. "You're safe now."

"Wh-where's Xena?" she sat up slowly and looked over at her Amazon friend, realizing now that she was in the healer's hut in the Amazon village. Eponin bit back the harsh remark she wanted to make because of the concern she heard in the queen's voice.

"In the jail. They took her there after they rescued you."

"Res...no, it's all a big mistake, Ep." she tried to stand up and had to lean on the table for support. "I've got to see Ephiny."

"Gabrielle, it's the middle of the night. Eph will be here in the morning." the stocky warrior moved to the edge of her bed but knew better than to try and sit up. "Please, get back in bed. You're safe here."

The bard instead moved closer to Eponin and waited for her to move back before sitting down on the bed next to her. "How are you doing?" she asked gently.

"About as well as can be expected considering what Xena did to me." she shrugged. "I'll probably never be able to walk normally again." Gabrielle couldn't see the damage beneath the sheet and bandages, but vividly remembered all the blood at the tavern. She put her hand on the stocky warrior's shoulder.

"Ep, I know it seems hard right now, but it will get better." she looked off into the dark shadows of the room.

"What happened, Gabrielle? She was your best friend. What caused her to do this?" she motioned toward her leg and at the queen's eye, the bruise still visible in the dim light.

"I don't know for sure, but I think the gods were involved somehow. Ep, you have to know that Xena would never-"

"How can you defend her? How can you sit there and tell me that she wouldn't do this? Look, look at what she did to you." she reached out and touched the edge of Gabrielle's cheek. "How can you forgive that?"

"Because I know her." she said firmly. "Ep, you don't know her like I do. What you saw in the tavern, well...that's not Xena."

"That's where you're wrong, Gabrielle. That monster in the tavern WAS Xena. God or no god, it was still Xena. Are you so blinded by your friendship that you can't see that? Once a warlord, always a warlord." she said bitterly.

"She changed, Ep. Xena gave up that life and was fighting for a better world."

"Yeah and I'm sure the world is a much better place now that I can't walk." she snapped back. Gabrielle lowered her head.

"I wish there was a way to take back what happened to you, Eponin. I suppose wishing won't make it so." she said softly.

"Nope, it doesn't." the stocky warrior responded, refusing to go easy on her queen. "It won't matter now anyway. Her days of terrorizing you and attacking those who would try to protect you are over."

"What are they going to do to her?"

"Depends on what she's charged with and what the verdicts are. I don't think she'll see freedom for quite a while, though, if ever."

"But I'm the queen, can't I do something?"

"Yes, Gabrielle, you are the queen. You're queen of the Amazons." Eponin's voice rose in relation to her outrage and anger. "You have a responsibility here. When you accepted the right of caste and later on the mask of queen, you accepted the responsibility that came with it. Don't think you can just waltz in there and pardon her. We're not talking about some minor crime here. She kidnapped you, held you for ransom, physically assaulted you, attacked two Amazon warriors trying to protect you. Gabrielle, she held you hostage, how can you possibly think of helping her? You have a responsibility to us, to your subjects. Being queen isn't some kind of game, Gabrielle. We've all sworn to protect you, with our lives if necessary. It isn't too much for us to ask for you to act like you care about us." she knew her words were harsher than necessary, but she had to make the young queen understand.

"I do care, Eponin. I care about every Amazon. But I also care about Xena." in a softer voice she added "I love her."

"Gabrielle..." she gentled her tone. "Did it ever occur to you that perhaps your love for her is blinding you to the truth?"

"Did it ever occur to you that your anger and self-pity is blinding you?" she shot back angrily before getting up and returning to her own bed. Neither woman spoke to the other for the rest of the night even though both found sleep to be impossible.

Ilanna tapped lightly on Ephiny's door before entering. The blond Amazon opened a bleary eye and looked at her. "The sun isn't even above the trees yet. What is it?" sleep had been hard for her to come by last night and all she wanted to do was go back into Morpheus' arms for just a little while longer.

"You'd better come down to the jail. I've already sent for Saras." the dark Amazon said quietly. Ephiny sat up quickly.

"She didn't escape, did she?" she asked with disbelief.

"No, she didn't escape, although you might wish she had. It seems that some of Ep's friends took it upon themselves to pay her a visit last night."

Saras had just finished stitching the gash above Xena's left eyebrow when Ephiny came storming in. The blond ruler stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the battered woman. "Sweet Athena." she whispered. The once white tunic and skirt were now spotted with dark brown stains from the dried on blood. Xena hung limply from her shackles, the strength gone long ago from her arms and legs. Her face was battered and raw and sported several spots where the healer had to give her stitches. Despite her anger at Xena, Saras was still disgusted by the heinous beating and thus tried to be extra careful not to inflict any more pain than necessary while administering to the wounds. "Who did this?" Ephiny asked angrily. "Where are the guards that were supposed to be watching her?"

"They said they didn't see a thing. Everyone in the village knows what happened but no one will say who's involved." Ilanna explained. "Alessa and Dyna were on duty and both have been questioned. They're sticking to their story that they never left their post and have no idea what happened."

"I want to see both of them...NOW!" Ephiny growled.

"Xena?" came the quiet voice from behind them. Everyone turned to see Gabrielle standing there, her eyes wide with concern. Ephiny moved to block her view of the battered woman only to have the queen roughly push past her. Saras knew enough to step out of the way as Gabrielle approached. "Xena?" she whispered, her fingers a hairs breadth away from the swollen face before her. At the sound of her voice, Xena slowly lifted her head and focused on the bard, who was doing her best not to cry. "Is this how you treat your prisoners, Ephiny? Chain them up and then beat them?" Gabrielle said angrily. "Is this Amazon justice?" she reached down and brushed her fingers along one of Xena's ribs, stopping when she heard the soft whimper escape from the split lip. During the beating, the raven haired warrior had done her best to keep from reacting to the pain, but all of her reserves were gone now.

"Gabrielle, I think you should return to-"

"Forget it. I'm not leaving her side." she said firmly. She reached for the manacles and scowled. "Get these off of her and get a cot in here."

"We can't do that, my queen." Ilanna said. "It's too dangerous."

"Dangerous?" Gabrielle turned, her green eyes burning with anger. "What kind of danger could she possibly pose now? She couldn't kill a fly much less try an escape." she glared at Ephiny. "You've seen to that, haven't you?"

"Gabrielle, I didn't do this and I didn't order it. Before you came in I was trying to find out who had done it."

"Why, so you could give them a medal? I know what Xena did, I was there. At least she gave them a chance to defend themselves. You chained her up and let them beat on her. I want her removed from these..." she shook the thick chains. "...now!" no one moved. "Dammit, I'm the queen and I'm commanding you to unchain her!" Ilanna looked at Ephiny, who slowly nodded. Within a quarter candlemark, Xena was laying down on the cot, Gabrielle kneeling beside her. With a gentle thoroughness, the bard inspected the damage caused by the beating. Several of Xena's ribs were cracked and her torso and face were covered with bruises. "Ephiny, I want another cot brought in. I'm going to stay with her."

"Gabrielle, we need to talk...now." for several moments no one moved while the two women stared at each other. Finally the bard relented and followed Ephiny outside.

"What do you mean I can't stay with her?" the bard practically yelled. "Ephiny, you don't understand what happened. The gods were involved, you have to believe me."

"I want to, Gabrielle, I really do." she ran her fingers through her blond curly locks in frustration. "But you have to see it from my perspective. She attacked Eponin and Solari, demanded fifty thousand dinars ransom for you, not to mention the beatings you obviously suffered through. She even drugged you. How can you stand to be near her after all that?"

"Because I know her, Eph, I know that what we saw wasn't Xena." she looked away. "Well, it was Xena, but not like she is now. She didn't know me. She doesn't even remember what happened."

"And that makes it all right? Gabrielle, every Amazon in the village is calling for her blood. She has to stand trial for what she's done." Ephiny reached out and put her hand on the young queen's shoulder. "And I think that's why she came here. Gabrielle, she surrendered without a fight. She never even looked at the money."

"Then why those manacles, Eph? Why treat her like that? You said she surrendered without a fight. Why did you think it necessary to chain her up like an animal?"

"Because she acted like one, Gabrielle." she said, trying hard to keep her voice level. "We had no idea what happened. All we knew was that she was holding you hostage and assaulted two of our warriors. I did what I felt needed to be done. If you can't see that...."

"What? You think I'm blinded to the facts just because I care about her?" she jerked her shoulder out from under the blond Amazon's grasp. "She's here. When's the trial?"

"We'll start it as soon as she's able to move about on her own and all the parties are here. Gabrielle, I don't want there to be any surprises for you. Any moment she's not in that cell she'll be chained and under heavy guard."

"I'm sure she'd expect no less. Perhaps you can even find some volunteers to guard her, perhaps the ones who paid her a visit last night?" she said sarcastically.

"That's not fair, Gabrielle. I've done everything I could to avoid that kind of thing happening. You should know that. If it wasn't for Xena, Phantes would have been executed and my son would never have been born. I've sent a messenger out to the northern village to get an advocate for her. Xena will have a fair trial, Gabrielle, I swear it."

"Why can't I be her advocate? Ephiny, no one knows her like I do."

"It's out of the question, you're one of her victims, you'll have to testify."

"I...I can't do that, Ephiny. I can't testify against her." the stricken look on the queen's face pulled at the blond Amazon's heart. She could only imagine how hard it must be for the bard.

"You have no choice, Gabrielle. Not only for the crimes against you, but you're the only witness to what happened to Eponin and Solari. You have to stand up and tell what happened, no matter how much it hurts."

"What will happen to her if she's found guilty?"

"Part of it depends on what she's charged with. So far we're charging her with kidnapping as well as assault on you, Ep, and Solari. Once you tell what happened while you were with her, there may be more charges." Ephiny reached out and tilted Gabrielle's chin until she was looking into the queen's eyes. "Gabrielle, I need to ask this...." she hesitated, unsure of how to phrase her question. "I know you care very much about Xena, but did she...well, did she try to...you know, force herself upon you in any way?" she asked as delicately as she could. Gabrielle met her gaze.

"No. Xena never forced herself on me." regardless of her mixed feelings about what happened, Gabrielle knew in her heart that she was a willing participant, even if the warrior had no memory of what happened between them. Ephiny let out the breath she had been holding and smiled gently.

"Good. That will improve her chances at trial."

Gabrielle looked at the ground for a moment before speaking. "Ephiny, be honest with me. What's the worst that can happen to Xena?"

"Let's not think about that right now, okay?" she replied, desperately not wanting to answer the question.

"Tell me. I need to know what to expect."

Ephiny looked everywhere but into the eyes of her queen. "For the assault on Ep and Solari, she'll probably have to serve a few moons at hard labor. For what she did to you...it depends on the trail. Gabrielle, she won't get off so easy. Everyone knows she drugged you and your face tells its own story. Kidnapping the queen is a very serious crime all by itself, but combined with everything else...." she let the sentence trail off.

"They could order her death, can't they? That's what you're trying not to tell me, isn't it?" Gabrielle asked, her heart pounding with fear.

"It's one of the options, yes." Ephiny quietly admitted.

Gabrielle refused to eat in the food hut, partly because she didn't feel like being sociable and partly because she didn't want all the Amazons to see her face and be reminded of what had happened to her under Xena's wrath. Trasis, the head cook, delivered a platter heaped with meats and cheeses to her hut. Gabrielle ate sparingly, her concern for the upcoming events overriding her hunger. She wrapped several pieces of food up in a cloth and headed for the jail.

Xena sat up when she heard the key turning in the door, but looked down at the floor when she saw the bard enter. Gabrielle murmured a few words to the guard, who nodded and closed the door behind her, leaving the two women alone. "You shouldn't be here." the warrior said quietly, refusing to look up.

"And just where should I be if not at my best friend's side?" the bard replied, sitting down on the bed next to her. Gabrielle noted disapprovingly that Xena was sporting a leg manacle. She reached over and fingered the chain. "Does this hurt?" the warrior shook her head. A heavy silence fell between them. The bard set the package of food down between them and unwrapped it. "I brought you some meat and cheese. I'm sure it's better than whatever they've been feeding you." she said, breaking off a piece of cheese and handing it to Xena.

"Thanks." she put the food in her mouth, careful of the split lip. To Gabrielle's delight, she took another piece.

"Xena, we need to talk. They're going to try you for what happened."

"I know." she said quietly.

"Then why did you come here?" she reached over and put her hand on Xena's knee. "Xena, they don't care if the gods were involved. They're going to go after you for everything. We have to come up with some kind of a defense for you."

"There is no defense, Gabrielle. I did it. The reasons why don't matter." she looked up at the bard's eye, the bruise now more yellow than anything else. "How can you stand to be around me after what I did to you?"

"Because I know it wasn't you, Xena. I know the gods were involved in this. The trick is to get the Amazons to believe us."

"There's no 'us' in this, Gabrielle. I'm the one who attacked Eponin and Solari, not you. You're a hero to them, risking your life to save two Amazon warriors from the evil warlord."

"Stop it, Xena." she said angrily. "I'm trying to help you here. The least you can do is try act like you give a damn about what happens." she rose and walked over to the granite slab, still sitting in the middle of the room, and leaned against it, her face away from the warrior. "They're going to put me on the stand, you know. They're going to make me testify about what happened. I have to come up with something that we can both agree on."

"Just tell them the truth." she leaned back against the wall, her left leg out straight because of the shortness of the leg chain and wincing slightly at the pain in her ribs from the attack. "I deserve whatever happens." she said quietly. Gabrielle spun around, her green eyes blazing with anger.

"And what do I deserve, Xena? Do I deserve to watch you give up? Do I deserve to watch them sentence you for crimes that wouldn't have happened if the gods hadn't been playing yet another one of their petty games with you?" she walked over and knelt down in front of the bed, putting her hands on Xena's shins and looking up at the multitude of bruises and cuts that littered her best friend's face. "I can't lose you, not like this. If I have to lie, if I have to give up my title, I don't care. Nothing matters to me except helping you get out of this mess."

"Gabrielle, do you know what the penalty is for lying on the stand? The Amazons will see that as treason." she scooted forward and took the bard's hands in hers. "I can't let you do that. You have to tell them the truth."

Gabrielle jerked her hands free as her eyes began to well up with tears. "There is nothing that the Amazons can do to me that will hurt more than losing you, Xena. You can't even remember what happened when you lost your memory. There's no justice in that. This is no different than when Ares killed those men and let you take the blame."

"The difference is that this time 'I' did the things I'm accused of, Gabrielle. There's no defense for that. There's nothing we can do except wait and see what punishment the Amazons see fit to give me." she had no doubt as to exactly what the severity of the punishment would be.

"That's where you're wrong, Xena." she said angrily. "We can fight this if you help me instead of just giving up." they were interrupted by a polite knock on the door. "I have to go. Don't say anything until the advocate gets here and I have a chance to talk to her. Somehow we'll find a way to defend you. I'll try and come back later." she rose and headed for the door. "I mean it, Xena." she said, turning back around to face her best friend. She lowered her voice so the guard wouldn't overhear. "I'll figure something out. I'd rather be accused of treason than face losing you."

Xena waited until she was certain that Gabrielle was gone before summoning the guard. "I want to talk to Ephiny." she said. The Amazon motioned for the other guard to fetch the ruler. Xena sat back and thought about what her best friend was planning to do. Moments later the blond ruler arrived.

"Leave us." Ephiny said to the guard before sitting down on the bed next to the prisoner.

"What's the penalty for treason?"

"Death or banishment, it depends on the severity of the act. Why?" Xena didn't answer, choosing instead to stare at the granite slab. She had no doubt the bard would lie to try and protect her or minimize her punishment. If the Amazons discovered her lies, there was no telling what they would do to her. 'You've suffered so much at my hands, Gabrielle...' she thought. 'I can't let you sacrifice everything for me. I can't let you be punished because of my crimes. I love you too much to let that happen.' she closed her eyes momentarily as she made her decision.

"Ephiny, I want to confess. I plead guilty to all the charges brought against me. There's no need for a trial." she said without emotion.

"Xena, are you sure you want to do that? Gabrielle tells me that the gods were involved. If you can find a way to prove that..."

"There's no way to prove it without having her testify. I won't put her through that." she said firmly. Ephiny's eyes widened with understanding. "Gabrielle was going to lie to protect you, wasn't she?"

"Just promise me that you'll be there for her." she said, refusing to answer the question.

"I'm not the one she wants by her side, Xena, you are." she waited for a comment from the dark haired woman. When none came, the blond ruler sighed. "I'll need a full confession. You'll have to tell the tribunal exactly what happened, what you did to Gabrielle as well as Ep and Solari."

"Whatever it takes to keep her from testifying." she said solemnly.

It was almost dark when Ephiny approached Gabrielle's hut. Xena's confession had taken less than one candlemark, but the lack of detail in her statement caused the tribunal to ask her question after question in an attempt to clarify some of the points. The whole matter took over four candlemarks before the members of the tribunal were satisfied. Ephiny knocked gently on the door. "Come in." she entered to find Gabrielle sitting there looking over several scrolls. "I thought if I could just find something in the laws..." she stopped when she saw the look on her friend's face. "What's wrong?"

"There's not going to be a trial, Gabrielle. Xena confessed to everything this afternoon."

"What? She couldn't...I told her not to do anything until I had a chance-"

"She was afraid for you. I think she believed that you were going to lie on the stand to try and protect her." she sat in the chair opposite the queen at the small table. "Gabrielle, I thought you said she didn't remember anything."

"She didn't. She told me that she didn't."

"Well, she did. She answered every question put to her and the account about the fight in the tavern agrees with what Eponin and Solari said." she reached across the table and put her hand on the bard's forearm. "Gabrielle, she remembers everything. Are you certain the gods were involved?"

Gabrielle stood up, walked over to the bed, and pulled the wooden lamb out from under her pillow. "I'm certain." she said, gently stroking the toy as she sat down. Her mind swam with the new information and the ramifications of it. "Ephiny, what happens now?"

"Now is the sentencing. The advocate should be here tomorrow and the hearing will probably take place the day after."

"What happens then?"

"All the interested parties will testify in front of the tribunal. The advocate will plead for leniency and the prosecutor will plead for the most severe punishment possible. It'll be up to the tribunal to decide what will happen to her then." she didn't fail to catch the glimmer of hope in the bard's green eyes.

"All the interested parties? So anyone who has feelings about this can speak?"

"Yes, but they're put through the same procedure as the trial. They have to take the stand and answer questions, but the advocate and prosecutor can bring things up that have nothing to do with the facts in the case."

"So they can ask about her past? They can ask about all the good things she's done?" she asked hopefully.

"They can also ask about the bad things too, Gabrielle. It works both ways. For every town she's helped, there's ten more that she's destroyed. For every person saved, there's a dozen she's killed. It doesn't work in her favor." Ephiny cautioned. Gabrielle pulled away and looked at her.

"Then I'll just have to figure out a way to make it work." she said. "I'm not letting go of her without a fight."

Eponin looked away when she saw Gabrielle enter. "Come to apologize?" she said snidely.

"No. I came here to see you." she said, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Better now that Xena has admitted her crimes." She glared at Gabrielle. "I'm going to be there at the sentencing and I'm going to speak my peace."

"I wouldn't expect otherwise, Ep. I know that you feel angry about what happened but there's nothing you can do about it now. You have to move on."

"Move on? Move on? What in tartarus am I supposed to do, Gabrielle? I was a warrior. I'm useless now."

"You may be many things, Eponin, but never useless. I'm sure there's something else you can do, something that doesn't involve walking."

"Like what? All I've ever wanted to be was a warrior. I trained since I was five summers old. I'm almost thirty. It's a little late to pick a new career."

"It's never too late. Is there something, anything that ever interested you? Some hobby perhaps?"

"Hobbies don't protect the village. Besides, the only thing I ever had any interest in was being a warrior. There never was time for anything else, not if I wanted to keep in top form."

"Well, it seems to me that you have plenty of time now." she pointed out. "I'm not here to ask you to go easy on Xena, I wouldn't expect that from you. I'm here because I care. I want to help you in any way I can." she smiled gently. "You know, Trasis was telling me that you've been in her kitchen a few times to complain about the food."

"That's because Trasis doesn't use enough spices. She's afraid to take chances." She shifted and adjusted the pillow behind her back.

"Like you? Sometimes the biggest risk is to not to do anything at all. You've been a warrior for so long that you're afraid there's nothing else you can do. You're wrong about that, Eponin. I'm not saying it'll be easy, but you'll never know until you try. Remember when I first tried to learn how to use a staff? I kept hitting myself in the head and I was certain that I'd never get the hang of it. But you kept encouraging me, showing me again and again until I learned. You didn't give up on me and I'm not giving up on you." she was rewarded with the closest thing to a smile that the stocky warrior had given in days.

Xena laid back on the cot and laced her fingers behind her head. She had been expecting Gabrielle to show up for candlemarks. The moon was now almost directly above and there was still no sign of her. Not even a message. The raven haired warrior sighed audibly. 'Where are you? Why haven't you come to see me?' One thought continued to race through her mind no matter how hard she tried to ignore it. 'I lied to her. I lied about remembering and now she won't see me.' she reached down and ran her fingers over the bruised ribs, hoping that the physical pain would overpower the emotional pain she was in. Nothing she did could tear her mind away from the thought that Gabrielle wasn't coming. She jerked her left leg in anger, causing the chain to rattle and the metal band to dig into her skin. The noise caused one of the guards to poke her head in to make sure the prisoner wasn't trying to escape. Xena closed her eyes and let the vision of the woman she loved fill her mind. Only then could she relax enough to let sleep finally overtake her.

After talking to Eponin for the better part of three candlemarks, Gabrielle walked toward the jail but found herself unable to enter. She wandered the village aimlessly, trying to sort out her conflicting feelings. She had lied to Xena in an attempt to protect her, but the warrior had lied to her simply to deceive. She wandered until she reached the river bank and sat down on the sloping ground. Time passed as she stared at the moon reflecting off the water. "Why, Xena, why?" she said out loud. "Why did you let me believe that you didn't remember anything?" she picked up a stone and tossed it, watching it skip across the water several times before sinking below the surface. "You let me sit there and go on with a pack of lies knowing full well what the truth was. Why?" she pulled her knees up and rested her arms on them. The cool night air blew her hair back and caused the tears to take a curved path down her cheeks. "I would have still tried to protect you. Don't you understand how I feel? Don't you realize that I can't live without you?" she thought back to the nights of passion they shared. "It may not have meant anything to you, Xena, but it meant something to me." she sniffed. "Don't you realize that you've held my heart hostage for as long as I can remember?" she never heard Solari come up and stand just behind a large tree. "How can the gods be so cruel? For so long I've wanted you to want me, to see me as more than just a young girl, to see me as a woman. And when you do, it's because you want to control me, not out of love." The tall Amazon didn't mean to eavesdrop, merely coming out for a late evening stroll, but the sound of her friend crying softly and talking to the night sky caught her attention. Gabrielle threw another stone angrily. "I hope you're happy, Ares. You got what you wanted, didn't you? No matter what happens, I've lost her. I can't stay with her knowing that she doesn't love me the way I need her to and never will. I can't look at her and not remember how it felt to be with her, to touch her in the most intimate of ways and to feel her touching me." she buried her head in her arms as the sobs began. "If they kill her, I can't stay here either. I can't live day in and out with the people who took her away from me. I can't go to Poteidaia either. I don't belong there, I never have." she lifted her head up and stared at the moon. "She's my home." she pounded the soft earth next to her. "Damnit Xena, why didn't you let me take you to Athens? You would have been safe there. Why did you come here, knowing what they'd do you? How many villages have we avoided because you were wanted there? Why deliberately walk into an ambush here?"

Solari could stand it no more. She politely coughed to announce her presence and stepped out from behind the tree to see the young queen wiping her eyes. "Gabrielle, can we talk?"

"Uh, sure." she said, watching as the Amazon took a seat next to her. The injured arm was still in a sling and Solari was careful not to jar it when she sat down. The look on her face told the bard that she had been listening. "How long were you there?" Gabrielle asked, staring out at the water.

"Long enough to know that you're in a great deal of pain and could probably use someone to talk to."

"There's no one I can talk to, Solari. I'm surrounded by women who want to see Xena dead, including you, I imagine." the tall Amazon said nothing but looked out at the water. "I love her. I've loved her for so long that I can't remember not loving her. Now tomorrow I have to sit there and listen to all the reasons why she should die."

"They may not choose to execute her, Gabrielle. You can't give up hope."

"Hope?" she cried. "What am I supposed to hope for? That the gods will descend and make everything all better? That she dies quickly and doesn't suffer? That she escapes at the last moment? That I'll wake up and discover that this is all some horrible nightmare?" she looked down at her lap. "There is no more hope, Solari. I hoped that she'd someday love me the way I love her. Now I know that will never happen. I hoped that together we could find a way out of this mess and our lives could get back to normal. Even if some miracle happens, that dream is gone. Too much has happened." she rose to her feet. "If you'll excuse me, I have to get some sleep so I'll be ready tomorrow to watch my world fall apart some more." she walked away, leaving the Amazon sitting in silence.

It had been late when she returned the center of the village and she knew she was far too emotional to go see Xena. There was just no way she could face looking at the blue depths of the warrior's eyes and know that she would never see the love she needed there. She returned to her hut instead and spent the next two candlemarks reviewing the scrolls of Amazon law before giving up and laying down on her bed. Normally a sound sleeper, Gabrielle found herself tossing and turning in a vain attempt to settle into Morpheus' arms. Her body finally succumbed to exhaustion just before sunrise, but not before she had soaked her pillow with more tears.

It was mid-morning when Gabrielle was awakened by the sound of a knock upon her door. "Come in." she mumbled, sitting up to see Ephiny enter.

"The advocate arrived about a half candlemark ago. I thought you should know."

"Where is she now?"

"In with Xena." she walked over and put her hand on the bard's shoulder. "Gabrielle, the tribunal wants to start the hearing as soon as possible."

"I imagine they would." she replied. "What happens first?"

"The first thing they'll do is listen to a reading of Xena's confession, then the victims will take the stand and tell their side of the story and of how her crimes have affected them. It's at that point when Symra, the prosecutor, will ask questions followed by Luna, the advocate. After all the interested parties have spoken, Xena can take the stand if she wants."

"Sounds about right, everyone gets up there and paints the picture of the evil warlord and then she has to take the stand and defend herself. Tell me something, Ephiny, why even bother with a sentencing hearing? Why not just toss the rope over the nearest branch and be done with it?"

"Gabrielle, that's not fair and you know it." Ephiny replied, letting anger tinge her voice. "I understand that you're upset by all this but you need to realize that what she did was serious. We're Amazons, not mindless killers."

"Like Xena? Isn't that what you mean?" she shot back.

"No, that's not what I mean. Xena had the chance for a fair trial, she refused. If all we wanted was to see her dead we would have killed her in the field."

"I know, Ephiny." she sighed, running her fingers through her hair. "I'm just not looking forward to this."

Continued in Part Five

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