by B L
Miller
part 2
Cyrene headed to Gabrielle's room, the words she had heard still repeating themselves
in her mind. She had never heard Xena in such pain, not even when Lyceus had died. She
thought about talking to Gabrielle, sharing with her what she had heard, but a nagging
thought held her back. The young woman that chose to call Xena friend was extremely loyal
and also very sensitive to others. If she thought that her leaving would in any way cause
Xena to give up on her quest, Cyrene doubted that Gabrielle would go. The innkeeper didn't
want to trap the young woman that way, not by making her feel responsible for Xena. No,
there had to be another way. She frowned. Her daughter had said that Gabrielle wanted to
go back to her home village tomorrow. Cyrene straightened her back and lifted her chin as
the answer to that problem came to her. She formulated her plan on her way to the room she
had given to the young woman.
"Gabrielle? Gabrielle are you in there?" she called after her knock went
unanswered.
"Come in, Cyrene." the bard replied, wiping the tears from her face just as
the door opened. "I um…I was just resting."
"I'm sorry to have disturbed you then, but I was wondering if I could talk to you
for a moment." she sat down on the bed next to the bard. "I understand that you
want Xena to escort you to Poteidaia tomorrow."
"Yes, I…I think it's best to get to my family as soon as possible so we can
all get used to this." she fidgeted with the hem of her skirt.
"I don't want to keep you from your family, Gabrielle, but…well, you know
that Xena doesn't come here unless there's a problem and then she only stays around long
enough to fix it and then she moves on. I'm an old woman. There are things around here
that need to be repaired, that require a strength that I don't have nor can I afford to
pay for it."
"And you're afraid that if I leave that Xena will go as well." Gabrielle
finished for her.
"I know I don't have any right to ask you to stay, not after what my daughter did
to you…"
"How long, Cyrene?" she asked, knowing that she could never refuse a mother's
request to spend time with her child, especially the kindly woman that always treated
Gabrielle as if she were one of her own children.
"Ten days. If you could give me ten days, I would be eternally grateful." she
reached over and took the bard's hand in hers. "Gabrielle, I haven't seen Xena for
ten days since before Lyceus died. It's more than just needing the roof fixed. I'm an old
woman. I don't have that many summers left. I've already lost one child." she decided
not to mention the grandson she never met. "All I have left is Toris and Xena. He
tries to visit when he can, but Athens is so very far away. Please, I'm asking you to give
me just a few days with her."
There was a momentary silence as the young woman made her decision. "Ten days
won't make much difference to me, but if it will help you…"
"I could never thank you enough for this, Gabrielle." she said, patting the
bard's hand. "I suppose I'd better get to the kitchen and get dinner ready. I'll be
sure to put an extra loaf of nutbread aside for you." if things went the way that
Cyrene hoped they would, Gabrielle could have a lifetime supply of nutbread.
"Xena, may I speak with you for a moment?" Cyrene asked when the warrior
returned two candlemarks later. With an uneasy look, the raven haired woman nodded and
followed her mother out into the storage room, the closest thing to a private place in the
now busy tavern. "It's been so long since you've been home. You know that you and
Toris are all I have."
"Yessss?" she responded, feeling much like a trapped rabbit.
"Well…never mind. It's too much to ask." Cyrene said, feigning an
apologetic tone.
"Mother, what is it? You know if there's anything I can do…."
"The rains will be coming soon, you know that. Well…no, I just can't ask. You
have enough to worry about with Gabrielle." she turned away, fussing with the sacks
of flour on the shelf. "I can't worry you with something as simple as my leaky roof.
I have plenty of buckets." she sighed. "I'll just charge the guests less."
"The roof is leaking? I can fix that."
"No, I can just wait until spring and ask Toris when he arrives. Really, Xena,
there's no need to worry. Forget I even mentioned it."
Age-old sibling rivalry reared its ugly head at the same time that guilt did.
"Mother, I will fix your roof. I'll take Gabrielle back to Poteidaia tomorrow and
then I'll return. You can't wait for him to return and do it. The rains will be here long
before that and you depend on the money from the inn. You can't afford to charge
less."
"Xena, it's beyond fixing. The whole roof has to be replaced. There won't be
enough time to do that before the rains come if you go to Poteidaia and you can't be
ripping up the roof when it's pouring out." she hefted one of the sacks of flour and
dumped into her daughter's arms. "No, I'll just have to wait for Toris. He'll be able
to spend the time to fix it properly when he comes." she gave another sigh.
"You won't have to wait. I'll talk to Gabrielle. I'm sure she'll understand."
"I've already spoken to her, dear. She said she'd wait until you were done with
the roof before going back to Poteidaia." she tossed two large jars of molasses on
top of the sack in Xena's arms. "You know where to put these. I'll have your uncle
Devon deliver the wood tomorrow." she opened the door to the storage room and went
back to the main area, smiling to herself at her victory while the warrior stood there,
shaking her head slightly with disbelief at how easily her mother had used the same
tactics that worked when they were children to get what she wanted.
Xena was on her way back to the room when she heard a loud crash. The door nearly came
off its hinges as she flung it open to find Gabrielle curled up on the floor, the table
overturned and the pitcher of water turned over. She quickly laid down next to the bard
and pulled her close, stroking the sun-kissed hair and making little shushing noises.
"I've got you…shh…it's okay now, I've got you." she repeated over and
over to the crying woman.
"I-I can't take this." Gabrielle sobbed. "I can't go through life in
this darkness. It's too much, I'm not strong enough." she clung fiercely to Xena, her
grip on the warrior's arms almost painful. "I just wanted to get a cup of water. I
can't take this."
"Yes you can. Gabrielle, you're the strongest person I know." she reached
between them and brushed her thumb across the tears that covered the bard's face.
"You've stood up to Titans, fought gods, even challenged me with a pitchfork. You CAN
do this, trust me."
"But I could see then." she sniffed, releasing her grip on Xena's bicep.
"I'm useless now."
"You are NOT useless, do you hear me? You are a beautiful, intelligent, caring
woman who is destined for greatness, with or without your sight." she continued to
let her thumb brush back and forth across the bard's cheek. "I know it's hard,
Gabrielle, but you can get through this."
"You know?" she scoffed, sitting up and moving back from the warrior's
embrace. "I'm the one who won't see another sunset, the glory of flowers in the
spring. You lost your sight for a while, but you got it back. All I'll ever see again is
black. There's no magical cure for me, Xena. You don't realize all that I've lost. It's
not just my sight. I've lost everything these last few moons. My blood innocence, my
child, you." the last word carried the most pain.
"You haven't lost me, Gabrielle. I'm right here." she sat up, keeping a
slight distance between them. "If there was anything, anything at all that I could do
to take back what happened, I would." she drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped
her arms around them. "Gabrielle, I…I never should have taken my rage out on
you. No matter what happened, no matter how angry I got, I had no right to be so…so
violent to you."
"You know…" she dropped her hand to her side, the fingers idly twirling
in the puddle of water. "I never really feared you. I mean, I've always known that
you could snap me like a twig without breaking a sweat, but I've never thought that you'd
ever hurt me." she shuddered visibly at the memory of being dragged out of the Amazon
village. "Then again, I never thought that I'd be responsible for Solon's death
either."
"I'm sorry." Xena said softly. "I-"
"No. My blindness is an accident, right?" she gave a sad smile. "You
were willing to lose your sight for me once."
"Lose it *for* you, not because of you. There's a difference." the warrior
corrected. She reached for Gabrielle's hand, but pulled back, certain she didn't deserve
it. "Please give me a chance to help you now. Stay with me."
"I…I can't, Xena." she heard the sad sigh from the warrior and shook her
head. "No, it's not that I don't think you deserve it." she turned her head in
the direction of her best friend. "I almost cost you your life in China and you
forgave me for that. How could I not forgive you for this? That's not the issue."
"Then what is? If you forgive me, then why can't you stay with me?" she
absently picked at her laces, working up the courage to ask the question. "Are
you…are you afraid that I'll hurt you again?"
Gabrielle's first instinct was to say no, to not add to the mountain of guilt she knew
Xena was already feeling, but if she learned one thing from the events of the last few
moons, it was that no matter how painful the truth was, it was better than having lies
festering between them. "I, I suppose that fear will be there, at least for a while
anyway." she admitted reluctantly. Xena hung her head with shame. "It's not
that." the bard continued, unable to see the look on her friend's face, but knowing
that it was there just the same. "I just can't, not like this. Being blind changes
everything."
"It doesn't have to. Gabrielle, you could learn to adapt. Perhaps in time-"
"In time I'll still be unable to read a word of poetry, or tell stories, or even
write them anymore. I'm only going to end up being a burden to you, Xena. I can't let you
give up everything you've worked for because of me. I don't want that."
"What about what I want? Don't I get a say in this?"
"I know you. You want what's best for me, just like I want what's best for you.
And no, you don't get a say in this because I know that it's better this way." she
rolled over until she was on her knees and stood up. "Would you help me to the bed
please? I'm very tired." she said, wanting to end the conversation.
"But it's early. You haven't even eaten dinner yet." Xena replied, rising to
her feet.
"I'm tired. Please just help me back to bed." she felt the strong hand grip
her lower arm and guide her.
Cyrene was surprised to see Xena sitting at the bar a short while later. "I
thought you were going to spend time with Gabrielle?"
"She doesn't want me to." she picked up her port and took a deep swallow, her
attention more on the rim of the mug than on her mother. "She's shutting me out, only
letting me help her get around and bring her food. When I try to talk to her about
staying, she refuses. Just keeps telling me that she's going back to Poteidaia."
"You're not helping her, you know." the innkeeper said, reaching behind the
bar for clean mugs and a pitcher of port for one of the patrons. "If she wants to
eat, make her come out here to get it." to her daughter's shocked expression she said
"Xena, you're just making it harder for her. As long as you run around doing
everything for her, she's never going to learn to live with her blindness."
"Mother, it's not that simple."
"Isn't it?" she loaded the mugs and port onto a tray and walked away to tend
to her customers.
Xena slipped into the room quietly, not wanting to disturb the bard. "I'm
awake." Gabrielle said.
"Oh. I was trying to be quiet."
"I know, but every sound somehow seems louder now. Or at least I notice them more.
Guess it's true what they say about other senses becoming stronger when we lose one."
her tone was less than enthusiastic. "I need to go to the pot."
Her first impulse was to reach out and take Gabrielle's hand, but Cyrene's words
replayed themselves in her mind. "Um…it's six paces from the bed, to the
left."
"Xena, help me please." the bard said in a completely annoyed tone. The
warrior took a deep breath, questioned whether it was the right thing to do, then repeated
her statement.
"Six paces, to the left. Gabrielle, you have to learn where everything is."
she tried to keep her tone firm, but inside her resolve was crumbling. Xena released a
breath she didn't realize she had been holding when she saw a dejected bard put her feet
on the floor and stand up.
"Fine, don't bother. I'll find it myself." Gabrielle grumbled. She took one
step forward then stopped, her hands feeling around in the air. Her next step was shorter,
more apprehensive. "Help me." she asked.
"You can do this." Xena urged, moving closer but not touching, much like a
mother helping a child take their first steps. Gabrielle took another step, the fear even
more pronounced on her face.
"Help me." she reached out and her hand brushed against the warrior's arm,
but when she tried to get a grip, Xena reluctantly pulled out of the way.
"It's okay. There's nothing there to hurt you."
"Xena!" she growled.
"Do it. Only a few more steps."
"Why won't you help me?" the bard said angrily. "You want to see me walk
into a wall?"
"Gabrielle..." every fiber of her being wanted to reach forward and guide her
friend, but still she held back. "You can do this. Trust me." slowly, carefully,
the bard moved forward, certain that at any moment she would smack into a wall or a piece
of furniture. "Okay, just a little to your left...there, that's the armrest."
with half the mission accomplished, Xena relaxed only a little, knowing full well that the
battle to get back to the bed was still to come.
"I suppose you're going to make me do this on my own too?" Gabrielle asked
testily.
"Yes. You have to learn where everything is. I'm not trying to be mean to you, I'm
trying to help." Xena replied, even though she felt that being mean was exactly what
she was doing. After all, it was her fault that Gabrielle couldn't see where she was
going.
"This isn't helping me. Making sure I don't walk into the furniture is helping. I
can't see. I don't know where anything is. Don't you understand? I can't tell if I'm an
arm's length away from something or if it's right in front of my nose." she slowly
worked her way back to the bed, stopping when her knees came into contact with the soft
side of the feather mattress. Thinking she was in the middle, Gabrielle lifted her knee
and rolled onto the bed. However, she was near the end and the movement caused her to fall
off, only missing the floor by the grace of the warrior's quick actions. Instead of the
cold hard surface, she found herself safely secured in Xena's arms. Scared by the sudden
and unexpected movement, Gabrielle clung to the woman whom she had been yelling at only
moments before.
"It's okay, I've got you." the raven haired woman said, using her powerful
legs to stand up from the kneeling position she had been in. She gently deposited the bard
back on the bed and sat down next to her, reaching over to brush a wayward lock of hair
off the young woman's forehead. The silence dragged out for a few moments before Gabrielle
spoke.
"I remember another time you said that." she said softly.
"The lava pit?"
"Yeah."
"Gabrielle…" she reached out and took the smaller hand in hers, the
action seeming perfectly normal after the constant touching of the last few days. "I
want you to know that I'll always be there for you, not just when you're dangling over a
river of lava."
"Um…I think you'd better get some sleep. You have a busy day tomorrow."
the bard said, faking a yawn.
"Oh, yeah. Do you want me to see if Mother…?"
"No, the bed's large enough. No sense bothering her for another room." she
squeezed the warrior's callused hands. "Actually, I'd feel better if you stayed here
anyway." she admitted.
"Hey…" Xena took her free hand and lightly ran her knuckles along the
bard's cheek. "I'll be here as long as you want." 'As long as you let me.' she
thought to herself.
Safely nestled in bed, Xena's strong arms wrapped around her, Gabrielle couldn't help
but think about how right it felt to be held by the warrior. Forgoing the pillow, she
scooted down until her cheek was resting against the bronzed arm. "Xena?"
"Mmm?"
"I still love you. I know you didn't mean for this to happen." she felt the
warm body pressed up against her shift as the warrior propped herself up on one elbow, the
movement pulling the arm back until the bard's face was resting on the large hand.
"Gabrielle…if there was a way, any way, that I could take back what
happened-"
"We're supposed to let go of the past, right? Move on?" she inhaled a ragged
breath. "I'm so confused…I should hate you for this but all I can think about is
that I'm partly to blame. I hurt you so much."
"Shh…let's not talk about that." the warrior urged.
"No…we can't just pretend that Britannia and China never happened, no matter
how much we want to." she croaked. "We hurt each other. Now look what our lies
and anger did." she leaned into the warm hand her cheek was resting on. "I never
meant to hurt you."
"I know that, Gabrielle." she rubbed her hand up and down the bard's upper
arm. "It's just not part of you to be hurtful. Come on now, let's get some sleep,
okay?"
But that sleep was anything but peaceful. Twice Xena woke up to the sound of the bard
crying out from tortured dreams, dreams that revolved around being dragged out of the
Amazon village and through the countryside. Twice the warrior had to comfort Gabrielle, to
whisper nonsense words into her ear to get her to calm down. And twice she had to lie
there in the darkness of the night and think about the consequences of her actions.
"Good morning, Gabrielle." Cyrene said as she entered the room. "Are you
ready for breakfast?" the sleepy bard rolled over and rubbed her face.
"I guess so." she sniffed the air. "I don't smell anything."
"I didn't bring anything. You have to come out to the tavern area." the
innkeeper said, knowing full well that the young woman wouldn't snap at her in anywhere
near the fashion she would at Xena. "Unless of course you aren't hungry."
"Are there a lot of people out there?"
"Not too many, actually a rather small crowd for today. Come, I have work to
do." she crossed to the table and poured some water into the wash basin. "I'll
put the cloth on the edge of the bowl. You'll find it, I'm sure. I have to check on my
patrons but I'll be back in a few moments to get you." she took one quick look to
make sure there was nothing between the bed and table that Gabrielle could trip over, then
left.
Gabrielle sat there for several moments after the door closed, trying to find the
courage to move about on her own in the perpetual darkness. She slid off the bed to the
floor, leaning her back against the wooden frame. She felt around until her hand came in
contact with one of her boots. "Well, there's a start." a bit more groping about
turned up the other boot. That task accomplished, she stood up and felt along the edge of
the bed to get her bearings. "Six paces, eh? Wonder if those are six of my paces or
six of yours, oh long legged one." she aimed herself in the direction that she
thought the table was in and took five steps forward, her arms feeling the air around her
the entire time. At that point, she began taking tiny steps, fearful of banging into the
table. She finally brushed against the wooden corner of the table and smiled. "Well,
that wasn't so bad." she said just before turning to the side and crashing against a
chair. Fortunately she ended up falling onto the seat instead of over the chair and onto
the floor. "Ow ow ow." her hand went to her yelping shin. "That's gonna
bruise." once the pain reduced itself to a dull, throbbing ache, Gabrielle resumed
her task, feeling around until she found the cool metal basin and cloth. By the time
Cyrene returned, the bard had managed to wash up but had not left the chair, not wanting
to slam her shin into another piece of furniture.
By the time a hot and sweaty Xena came down from the roof for lunch, she found
Gabrielle sitting at the bar, recounting the tale of Prometheus to Cyrene. To the
warrior's surprise, her mother waved off a customer asking for more port in favor of
listening to the talented bard. Unbeknownst to Gabrielle, several others had moved closer
to hear the entertaining story. "So just when it seemed that all was lost, the torch
burst to life, the golden fire blessing us with its light. Together with Hercules, Xena
managed to free the Titan and save mankind." the bard finished, her hands
outstretched, assisting her in her storytelling, just like whenever she appeared on a
stage.
"That was beautiful." Cyrene said, turning her head to look at her daughter
with pride, causing Xena to blush slightly and find a spot on the wall quite interesting.
There was a collective murmur of agreement followed by clapping and the sound of dinars
striking the counter in front of the astonished bard.
"What…?"
"It's for you, Gabrielle." Cyrene said. "Surely people have thrown
dinars at you before in honor of your stories."
"Well, yes of course, but…"
"But what?" Xena asked, moving close until her thigh brushed against the
bard's hip. "Gabrielle, you tell wonderful stories, you know that."
"That was before." she said sadly.
"No." she took the bard's arm and guided her away from the crowd, stopping
only when they were near the kitchen. "You're still Gabrielle, bard, Amazon Princess,
my best friend. That hasn't changed. They didn't care if you could see or not. They cared
that your stories brightened up what otherwise might have been a boring day for
them." Xena brought her hand up to caress the soft cheek. "Just like you always
brighten up my day."
"Xena?"
"Hmm?"
"We're near the kitchen, aren't we?" she asked, her head turning toward the
collection of tempting scents.
"Yeah." the warrior grinned, knowing full well what the next question was.
"Come on, let's help ourselves. Mother won't mind."
With her confidence renewed, Gabrielle spent the rest of the day telling stories to the
patrons. Cyrene cleared an area at one end of the room and put a stool there for the bard
to sit on. In addition to being able to hear about some of her only daughter's exploits,
the innkeeper also enjoyed a boost in business as customers stayed behind after their meal
was over to listen to the young woman, which of course meant more drinks and dinars. While
Gabrielle couldn't see their faces, she knew the audience was enjoying her tales by the
sounds of applause when she finished, the generous clinking of dinars into the bucket near
her feet, and the grumbling from other patrons when someone was stupid enough to try and
talk during her performance. The bard told story after story until she no longer heard the
sound of Xena working on the far end of the roof. "I'm afraid that's all for tonight.
Thank you."
"No, please stay and tell more."
"Another story, just one more."
"Yeah, tell us another one."
"Cyrene, it's early, can't you make her stay?"
"Now look, all of you." the innkeeper said firmly. "If the child is
tired, then that's it. I'm sure she'll tell more tomorrow. You can all come back then if
you want to hear her." she crossed the room to where the bard was still leaning
against the stool and picked up the bucket laden with dinars. "They've moved some of
the tables and chairs around." she said in explanation for taking the young woman's
arm. Gabrielle nodded in understanding. Her audience always had that habit.
"Is Xena in yet?"
"Not yet. She's probably just putting the tools away. I'll make up plates for the
both of you." she led the bard to an empty stool at the end of the bar.
"I think it would be best if we ate in our room, if you don't mind."
"I'll bring them in there then." Cyrene said, looking over toward the doorway
that led to the rooms. "You go on ahead. I'll let Xena know where you are."
"Oh…" nervousness crept over Gabrielle's face. It was one thing to
negotiate her way around when there was no one in the main room, but to do it with a full
compliment of customers milling about was another thing altogether. "I think maybe
I'll just wait here for her."
"There's no one in your way." Cyrene replied, not completely understanding
the bard's reluctance.
"No, that's okay. I'll stay here. Could I have a port, please?"
Not wanting to push the issue and having several customers to wait on, Cyrene quickly
filled a mug and set it on the counter in front of the young woman. Gabrielle reached for
it but before her fingers could close around the mug it was taken away.
"Mmm, thanks. I was thirsty." Xena said before taking a long swallow.
"You know you could have gotten your own mug." the bard said.
"Ah, but it's more fun to take yours."
"Cute. I thought you might like to eat dinner in our room. Cyrene said she'd bring
the plates in." she slid off the stool, the action putting her right against the
warrior's body.
Xena's first impulse was to take Gabrielle's arm and guide her, but she stopped herself
and took a step back. "That sounds fine. Let's go." although a bit disappointed,
the bard nodded and followed the warrior by using a different sense…smell. A full day
of labor on the roof caused the scent of leather to mix with sweat, making it easy for
Gabrielle to know exactly where Xena was as they made their way back to the room.
"Xena, can we go for a walk after dinner?" the bard asked, putting another
spoonful of stew into her mouth. "Mmm, I mean, it's a nice night out, isn't it? It's
not raining or anything and I'm feeling a bit cooped up staying in all the time."
"If you like, sure." the warrior replied, surprised. A moonlit stroll wasn't
exactly what she had in mind for the rest of the evening, more like a hot bath and an
early rest, but if Gabrielle wanted to go for a walk, and with her, there was no way Xena
was going to say no.
It wasn't an especially warm night, but it wasn't too cold either. Just to be on the
safe side, Xena grabbed one of her mother's shawls for Gabrielle on her way out the door.
Making the bard learn her way around indoors was one thing, but outside was another matter
altogether. With Gabrielle's hand firmly planted on her gauntlet covered forearm, Xena led
them away from the inn.
"Amphipolis sure has a lot of sheep, doesn't it?" Gabrielle said, crinkling
her nose.
"We used to have more, before Cortese and his men came in. In many ways, that
attack changed Amphipolis forever. We used to be a leader in wool production. That's what
made us prosperous. Unfortunately, it also made us a target."
"So now they just keep enough sheep for their own needs?"
"Well, a little more than that, but not anywhere near what we used to have."
she sniffed the air. "It certainly smells better than it used to."
"I bet summers were pretty rough, huh?" Gabrielle joked.
"And you wonder why Lyceus and I used to go up in the hills and play? The hills
were upwind of the village." she smiled and patted the hand resting on her forearm.
"Come on, let's find somewhere a little less…"
"Stinky?" the bard offered.
"That'll do." Xena grinned.
They made their way slowly through the town before ending up at a gentle grassy slope.
"You want to sit and rest for a while?"
"That'd be nice." Gabrielle replied. A moment later they were lying side by
side, one staring up at darkness, the other at the twinkling lights of the evening sky.
"I wish we had brought a waterskin." the bard said.
"Why's that?"
"You know I use it as a pillow."
"Oh. I'll fix that." Xena said as she sat up and removed her bracer and
gauntlet from her right arm. "Here, lift your head." she slid her arm under the
bard's head and over her shoulder, letting the muscled forearm fall loosely across
Gabrielle's chest. "How's that?"
"Better." she replied, snuggling closer and shifting until both were
comfortable. "Are the stars out tonight?"
"Sure are. Sky's full of them."
"Tell me about them." the bard urged, moving the shawl to cover her chest and
Xena's arm.
"Well…there's the one there that you think looks like an arrow."
"Oh…where?"
"Um…" a quizzical look came over the warrior's face as she tried to
figure out how to explain to the bard where the star group was. "I got an idea."
she shifted until she was propped up on her elbow, thus taking away the bard's warm,
muscled pillow. "Okay, here's the sky…" she ran a finger around the outer
edges of Gabrielle's bare midriff, noticing not for the first time just how soft the skin
was. "…and the arrow is here." she drew the object with her finger just
above the bard's belly button. "And the shield is here…" she said, tracing
an approximation of the five pointed constellation just below the ribcage, the highest
point just a hand's width away from the edge of the green top.
"Is the scorpion there too?" Gabrielle asked. Xena looked up at the sky and
swallowed hard.
"Uh…yeah it is. It's um…north of the shield. I guess the sky's bigger
than your belly." she placed two fingers slightly apart on either side of one rib.
"There's the points of the tail…" she brought the fingers together before
using just one to move in an 'S' motion down and then up Gabrielle's chest.
"…there's the body," her finger rested just halfway up the inner swell of
the bard's left breast. "and the head…" she hesitated, fully cognizant of
where her hand was. "well, the head is up a bit more." she let her hand fall
back to her side. The expression on Gabrielle's face was unreadable and Xena was sure
there had to be more than one reason for the increase in the bard's breathing.
"Um…I think we'd better get back. Mother will worry."
"Hmm, I guess so." Gabrielle replied, not making any move to get up.
"Xena?"
"Yeah?"
"You know what I miss most of all? More than the stars or the colors or
anything?" she rolled over, wrapping her arms around the muscled torso and pressing
her face against the leather clad abdomen. "I miss seeing you." she shifted
until the back of her head was resting on Xena's stomach, their bodies perpendicular to
each other. Gabrielle reached up and caught hold of the warrior's right hand, pulling it
down until it was resting across her bare middle. "I could tell so much from your
eyes. Even when you have that warrior mask of yours on, I can still figure out what's
going on inside." she let her thumb move back and forth lazily across Xena's hand.
"You're not one to tell me what you're feeling, you know." they both smiled at
the comment. "I can't tell now." she added sadly.
"I never meant-"
"No." Gabrielle interrupted, squeezing the hand beneath hers. "I know
you didn't. I drove you to the snapping point."
"No." Xena said firmly. "Don't…don't think like that. I had no
right, no matter what happened." she reached down with her left hand and brushed the
soft golden hair off the bard's forehead, her fingers lingering over the point where her
memory told her a large lump was only a few days ago. "I…" she stared up at
the night sky and took a deep breath, drawing courage from the continued gentle touch of
Gabrielle's hand on hers. "For so long, I never cared about anyone, or anything. I
let violence and anger rule." she gently plucked at the bard's hair. "Then you
came along. You accepted me for who I am, the good and the bad. You helped me to see that
I could still be worthy, that I could atone for my past. For a while I forgot that."
she shook her head. "No, I didn't forget, I ignored it. I was in pain and I lashed
out at you. Gabrielle, I'm sorry."
"I know, Xena." she said softly. She rolled over and shared a warm embrace,
not caring about the brass armor pressing against her body. "I still love you."
she whispered against the bronzed neck. The strong arms holding her squeezed even tighter.
'After all the things you've forgiven me for, how could I feel anything less?' the bard
thought to herself just as she felt the soft wetness of a tear trickle down the warrior's
cheek. "Hey, enough of that." she said, lifting her head and wiping away the
errant drop. "We'd better get back before this turns into a major mush-fest."
she moved off Xena's body and accepted the hand up. Their trip back to the inn was spent
with arms around each other's waists and once inside their room, a gentle, peaceful sleep
enveloped them almost as soon as their heads hit the pillows.
Concluded in Part Three
|
