"I'm going downstairs to get the breakfast that I missed because of you." the bard said. "Stay here."
"And what makes you think I don't want something to eat too?"
"You're immortal. Immortals don't get hungry."
"Just because we don't get hungry doesn't mean that we don't like to eat anyway. Why, in my time I used to be quite the chef." he said. "I specialized in pastries and cakes."
The mention of tasty treats caught the bard's attention. "You're a real chef?"
"No, I'm a pretend one." he said sarcastically. "Do you want something edible or do you want whatever slop they try to serve downstairs?"
"I'm afraid that we don't have a choice. I don't have the ingredients to make anything." she looked at the remains of their belongings. "I don't even have any pots or pans anymore. We lost them all when we ran from some of those undead thugs."
"And this is a problem? Just buy new ones." he said as if it was the obvious answer.
"Sorry, dinars don't grow on trees. We barely have enough to pay for this room."
"Well then you're in luck. Dinars happen to be something I have an unlimited supply of." he grinned. "I'll buy whatever you need. Despite the fact you tried to make me a soprano."
Against her better judgment, Gabrielle agreed and they headed to the marketplace. The area was little more than a street with booths set up on both sides. The bard tried to head to the booth that had the cooking supplies but the ferryman was like a little child, insisting on looking at each and every shop and everything they had to offer. They stopped at one booth full of bolts of cloth and clothes. Charon held up a top that was even more revealing than the green one the bard wore. "Now what would it cost me to see you in this?" he said.
"Your manhood." Gabrielle replied, causing the ferryman to drop the garment immediately and head for the next booth. The bard smiled to herself and followed.
Despite the fact that money wasn't an object to the immortal, Gabrielle insisted on haggling down every merchant until they got prices that she felt were fair. They passed a shop selling herbs and Charon insisted on stopping. He spoke quietly and conspiratorially to the owner, who disappeared into the back and returned with a leather pouch filled with dried green leaves and a smaller pouch containing a crushed red powder. The ferryman dropped several coins into the man's hand and left, smiling to himself. "You ready?" the bard asked.
"Oh yes. I'm all set now." he grinned.
"What's in the pouches?"
"Oh, this? Just some herbs that I like to add to my cooking. It makes everything taste better. Trust me, you'll like it." he said. "Can we check out that shop over there?" he asked, pointing to one booth adorned with leather whips and straps. One look from the bard was enough to stop him from pursuing that idea. At that moment her stomach grumbled its complaint about her not feeding it yet.
"Oh, there's a charming sound. Must go over well on dates." that comment earned him another glare. "Oh, sorry, I suppose you don't get to go on too many dates, what with the way you like to disable every man you see."
"Funny, I don't see a man here." she said sweetly.
"Ouch, that hurt…not." he replied. They continued to look about the market, unaware that they were being followed.
Xena followed Charon's directions and soon found the portal. She pounded her hand on the stone in frustration. Whatever method Sysiphus used to seal it was done on the inside and there was no way she could disable it from the outside. She thought briefly about going to the Alconian Lake and entering the Underworld but quickly nixed that idea. It was bad enough that there were untold numbers of former residents of Tartarus looking for her in the Overworld. She knew exactly how many were waiting down there for her should she dare enter the realm. One or two or even a half dozen at a time she could handle. There was no way she could handle all of the people she had just sent back down there. Xena growled in disappointment at the predicament. She was caught between the Scylla and Charibdes. The dead souls couldn't be sent back to the other side of the Styx without Charon to guide the boat and she couldn't break whatever seal was on the portal to get him back as long as the souls were waiting there.
Xena turned to head back to Laconia. As she passed one rise she found herself surrounded by several men. "Well, it looks like we have you now, don't we, Xena?" Toxeus said evilly.
"Looks can be deceiving." the warrior said evenly, drawing her sword.
"There's two dozen of us and only one of you. Just what kind of fool are you?"
"My own special variety." Xena said with a feral grin, her right hand reaching for her chakram. "You gonna talk or fight, Toxeus? Oh, I forgot, you can't fight. That's why I was able to kill you so easily before." she taunted.
"Get her!" the warlord yelled.
By mid afternoon, the room was filled with the smells of fresh baked goods. True to his word, Charon was an excellent baker and made several trays of treats, from brownies to pastries to even nutbread. Of course when the bard wasn't looking he added his special ingredients. The first thing she dived into was the nutbread, which was reduced to crumbs in a matter of moments. "Gods, I can't believe how good it tastes. You really are a good cook." she exclaimed as she shoved a large brownie in her mouth. Charon smiled and sat back, nibbling on a much smaller piece.
"It gets even better the more you eat. Shall I make another loaf of nutbread?"
"Oh please."
"It'll be my pleasure." he said as he began to mix the ingredients in a bowl. "Or at least I hope it'll be." he added, grinning wickedly as he added more herbs. Gabrielle didn't hear his last comment, she was too busy shoving different pastries and cakes in her mouth and washing them down with the port he had purchased, not knowing that he had added some of the red powder to it.
After two loaves of nutbread, a tray of brownies, and a dozen assorted pastries had been sacrificed to the bard's belly, Charon was certain that it was time to make his move. Just as he leaned toward her, Gabrielle jumped up with an excited smile on her face. "Let's go for a walk. I feel like wandering around town."
"You don't want to stay here with me?" he asked disappointedly, certain that the aphrodisiac would have kicked in by now.
"Oh Charon, you silly man." she said, giving him a playful shove. "Come with me and see what life has to offer." somehow the idea of staying locked up in the room when she felt so good was just not appealing. Without waiting for an answer, Gabrielle grabbed his white hand and dragged him out the door, stopping only long enough to dump the rest of the second tray of brownies into her satchel. "I just can't get over how good everything tastes." she said, shoving one more brownie into her mouth.
"Ah, the great outdoors." Gabrielle said, taking in a deep breath and looking around slowly. "Oh, Charon, look…isn't that pretty?" she pointed at an average looking tree. "Oh, the green is just so…vivid."
"Oh yes, the colors are just so much more vivid than they were yesterday." he grumbled, wondering what had gone wrong with his plan. Certainly she had eaten more than enough of his laced treats. She was even showing signs of being affected by them, but there was not even a hint of her being aroused. 'I'll have to give her more of the aphrodisiac.' he thought to himself as he patted the smaller pouch resting on his hip.
"Oh look, isn't that adorable? A little blue bull." she giggled at the sign over the tavern. The sounds of activity filtered out into the street and gave the ferryman an idea.
"Gabrielle, why don't we go inside? I'm sure they have more pretty things in there."
"Oh, I don't know…" she said thoughtfully, putting her finger on her chin and tapping it. "Didn't Xena say something about not going anywhere?" try as she might, she just couldn't remember what the warrior had told her only a few candlemarks earlier.
"She said she didn't want us to leave this town, not that we couldn't wander around." he said, hoping that the scantily clad woman would believe him. His fingers were already itching to play one of the dice games or at least a few hands of Axes and Hammers.
"Oh…I'm not sure that would be a good idea." she said cautiously before her attention turned back to the leaves on the tree. "Isn't this just so pretty?"
"Gabrielle…in the Blue Bull they have much prettier things…they have a wheel that goes round and round and it has pretty colors." he said temptingly.
"Ooh, really?" she replied, her eyes lighting up even though the lids were half shut.
"Oh yes…and they have food and drinks and-"
"Food?" she interrupted, forgetting about the treats in her satchel. "Food sounds good. I'm really rather hungry at the moment."
"Well then let's go." he said, slipping his arm around her shoulders and guiding her toward the Blue Bull.
Xena made the mistake of stopping at the Alconian Lake to wash up after the bloody battle. Within moments she found herself in yet another battle as more former residents of Tartarus emerged from the murky depths. Fortunately for her, they were unarmed and most swam in the opposite direction to avoid her until they could find weapons. Of course there were two dozen idiots that decided they could defeat her with their bare hands. It caused only a slight delay in Xena's schedule.
The warrior returned to an empty room. "Looks like they had a party in here." she said as she surveyed the wreckage on the table. Several empty platters were scattered about, crumbs were everywhere, and two empty bottles of port were lying on the floor. What bothered Xena the most was the fact that Gabrielle's staff was still there, leaning against the wall. She grabbed the weapon and left in search of her best friend and the ferryman.
Gabrielle had indeed found the spinning wheel quite fascinating. Charon wandered about the room, playing every game he could while the bard sat in one spot and watched the red and black colored wheel go round and round. Several men offered to buy her a drink, which she happily accepted, but then ignored them in favor of watching the wheel spin.
Charon was disappointed in having missed the dancing girls but took solace in the fact that he was able to gamble as much as he wanted and could freely stare at the bard's ample bosom without her threatening him. He bought a mug of port and added some red powder to it before putting it in front of the oblivious woman. "Here, I bought you a drink, Gabrielle."
"Oh, hey thanks." she said happily, draining the liquor in several long swallows. As she set the mug down her eyes fell upon a game table with multi-colored dice. "Ooh, pretty. Can we go over there?" she asked with the enthusiasm of a child.
"Oh sure, why not? I spend all these dinars to try and get you in the mood and all you want is to watch the pretty colors." he threw his hands up in defeat and led her over to the dice table. As she sat down on the stool, Charon managed to get his hand between the padded surface and her rear. 'Well at least I get to cop a little feel.' he said to himself as he stood next to her.
They watched a dozen or more rounds, the bard completely mesmerized by the dice and how they were marked differently on each side while Charon continued to grope her rear until he felt a firm hand slam down on his shoulder. "Hi Xena." he said without looking.
"First, move your hand from her ass." the warrior said firmly. "Second, what are you doing here? You were supposed to stay in the room."
"Oh, well, that…you see, we just decided to-"
"I don't want to hear it." she said, cutting him off. She tapped Gabrielle on the shoulder. What she got in return was a swatting motion from the otherwise occupied bard. She tapped her again, harder this time.
"Go away, I'm busy watching this. I think I've got it figured out." Gabrielle said without turning around to see who was trying to get her attention.
"Excuse me." Xena said, gripping the bard's earlobe between her fingers and pulling the young woman off her stool.
"Ow ow ow…what gives? Oh, hi Xena." she said as she tried to focus on the tall woman glowering at her.
"Hi Gabrielle." she replied, trying not to smirk at her friend's obvious condition, assuming she was just intoxicated. "Didn't I tell you to stay in the room?"
"Oh yeah!" she exclaimed, snapping her fingers. "That's what it was. I was trying to remember what you said. That's it. Yup, you're right." she nodded, then a confused look came over her face. "What'd you say again?"
"Let's go." she grabbed the bard by the arm and led her toward the exit, stopping just short of the door. "Charon."
"I'm coming, I'm coming." he muttered. "Always a killjoy, aren't you?" he began to follow them but found himself stopping at a table to place a quick bet.
Xena had just stepped outside, bard in tow, when she realized that the ferryman wasn't right behind her. She marched the bard over to a bench. "Sit and don't move." she commanded before turning around to collect her other charge. Before she could reach the door a dozen members of the king's guard rushed past her to enter the building. She stood there with arms crossed and watched as the guards began removing the gamblers and head them off to jail. When she saw Charon appear, she stepped forward. "Can't stay out of trouble, can you?"
"Oh it's okay, Xena." he replied. "They have a bed all set for me. I'll see you in the morning." he turned his attention back to the guard. "So what's for dinner tonight?"
The warrior shook her head and went to retrieve the bard only to find her no longer sitting on the bench. Half a candlemark later she found her admiring the multitude of brightly colored beads at one of the merchant's booths. It took more cajoling than Xena had patience for to convince the bard to return to the inn with her. "Gabrielle, are you hungry? Hmm? If you come back to the inn with me, I'll get you something to eat. Wouldn't that sound good right now?"
"Oh but this is just so pretty." she said, sinking her hand into the box of beads and scooping several out to fall between her fingers like a waterfall.
"Look, if I buy you some of these beads will you come back to the inn with me?" the warrior tried, knowing in her mind that the next step would be to throw the smaller woman over her shoulder and carry her back.
"Okay." Gabrielle said happily, picking out several different colored beads. Xena paid for the trinkets and tied the pouch to her belt. The bard reached for her prize but the warrior pulled back out of reach. "Hey, you said you bought them for me." she whined.
"I did, but you don't get them until we get back to the inn."
The trip back to their room took far longer than it should have because the bard decided to stop several times to look at something she found interesting, even if it was the shape of the bark of a tree. Xena had to resort to holding the pouch of beads in front of Gabrielle's face to convince her to follow, much like one would hold a carrot in front of a mule.
Once inside the room Gabrielle headed for the table, hoping that some of the tasty treats that Charon had made were still there. Of course she had eaten all of them earlier. "Oh!" she exclaimed, rummaging through her satchel until she was able to pull out several brownies. "I forgot all about these." she said and proceeded to polish them all off without offering the warrior a single bite.
Xena removed her armor and slumped into a chair to remove her boots, slightly miffed that the bard didn't even offer her one of what apparently were delicious brownies. Gabrielle found a bottle of port sitting near the fireplace and helped herself to half of it before the warrior snatched it out of her hands. "I think you've had enough, my friend."
"Oh but my mouth is so dry." the bard complained, trying valiantly to reach the bottle held just out of her reach.
"Have water."
"Meanie." she pouted, stomping off to a corner and sitting down.
"Gabrielle…." she sighed, not at all looking forward to dealing with a drunk and upset bard. She set the bottle down on the table and stared at the empty plates. "Just what exactly did you eat today?"
"Not much. Just a few things that Charon made. He's a good cook, you know."
"That Charon made? Did you watch him make these things?"
"Well, I didn't pay that much attention to them, but they sure tasted good." she smiled, her annoyance at the warrior apparently forgotten. Xena picked up the bottle and sniffed.
"He laced the port with something." she sniffed again. "Some kind of an aphrodisiac I think."
"Aphrothingy? Is that why I feel like this?"
"Aphrodisiac, Gabrielle." she knelt down next to her. "And just how exactly do you feel?"
"Um…" the bard poked herself in several places. "I feel like I always feel." she said before breaking into a giggling fit.
"Wonderful." Xena drawled. "Gabrielle…Ga-bri-elle…how do you feel inside?"
"Um…warm and relaxed…I feel kinda good, actually. You know, those brownies were really good."
"Do you have any more of them?"
"Nope, ate em all up." she giggled and slapped her hands together. "All gone."
Xena reached for the satchel and had to jerk it out of the bard's hands. At the bottom of the bag, in addition to a multitude of crumbs, she found half a brownie. Her keen sense of smell picked up the faint scent. "Cannabis. Gabrielle, how many of these did you have?"
"Um…I don't know…how many trays are there?"
"You mean all the food that was here was made by Charon?" she stood and crossed to the table. "I don't believe this." she sighed. "Just how much of this stuff did you have to eat?"
"Uh…well actually I was kinda hungry and you know immortals don't really need food…"
"Are you saying that you ate everything that was on these plates?" Xena shook her head in disbelief. "What about the empty port bottles? Did you drink all of that too?"
"I was thirsty." the bard protested, not at all understanding what her tall friend was getting so upset about. "I'm an adult…I can drink whatever I want."
"Gabrielle, you're stoned, drunk, and under the influence of a powerful aphrodisiac. I can't believe you didn't realize that something was wrong."
"Something's wrong?" she looked around to find whatever it was that the warrior thought could possibly be amiss. "Where? I don't see anything-"
"Relax, Gabrielle." Xena scratched her head and tried to figure out what to do next. When she looked down at the bard again, she noticed that the young woman was studying her fingers intently, as if seeing them for the first time.
"Xena? Did you ever notice that we have ten fingers and ten toes?" she wiggled her feet within the confines of her boots.
"I've noticed."
"Yeah, but why is that? I mean, do we really need ten of each? It's so strange. We have two ears, two eyes, but ten fingers and toes." she continued to wiggle her fingers in contemplation.
"That's just the way we're made, Gabrielle." she sat down next to the bard.
"You know what else?" she giggled as if getting ready to tell a great secret.
"What?" she sighed.
"We've got two breasts too." she cupped her mounds and laughed. "Yup, two of them, I checked."
"Good for you, Gabrielle. What do you say we just head to bed now, hmm? I think you could use a rest right now." she reached for the bard's boot and began to undo the laces, trying hard not to look at her best friend touching herself in a way that she could only dream about. There had been more than one time when circumstances presented the opportunity for Xena to pursue the idea of deepening their relationship beyond simply being friends but each time her own fears held her back.
"It just seems so…so unfair. Why do we need two of them? Why do ours get big but men's don't? Why do we bleed each moon and they don't? I don't think it's fair." her hands continued to fondle her generous swells of flesh. "Hey, look at that."
"What?" she reached for the other boot.
"They're getting hard." Gabrielle whispered in amazement.
"Well, they'll do that if you play with them long enough." she pulled the bard's other boot off and went to reach for her hands, deciding instead to grab her wrists when she saw what Gabrielle's fingers were doing.
"Hmm…that feels nice." she sighed. "Hey!" she protested when Xena pulled her to her feet, moving her exploring fingers in the process.
"It's bedtime, Gabrielle." she said firmly.
"You wanna help me get undressed?" the bard said seductively, her fingers twirling the laces of her top. Xena swallowed hard and reminded herself that Gabrielle really didn't mean what she said, that the aphrodisiac was doing the talking. She had to remind herself of that more than once before she could find her voice to answer the amorous bard's question.
"I don't think you need any help." she said, silently congratulating herself for not answering it the way she truly wanted to.
"Do you need help?" Gabrielle said, pressing herself up against the warrior and reaching behind for the laces that held the leathers in place.
"I don't need any help either." Xena replied, reaching behind herself and removing the bard's wandering hands.
"Are you sure? Sometimes you like to have my help." she reached back again only to have her hands stopped by the warrior's much stronger ones.
"Gabrielle…" she said in a warning tone.
"Party pooper." the bard pouted, stomping off to the bed and flopping down. Xena sighed and watched as the young woman shrugged out of her small green top, her nipples fully erect. "Look at that, Xena…look how much they're poking."
"I see, Gabrielle, now finish getting undressed and get to bed." she said as she turned her attention to a spot on the floor.
"But I'm already in bed." she giggled.
"I'm not in the mood for this tonight." the warrior said, pulling the bard to a standing position and reaching between their bodies to undo the belt that held Gabrielle's skirt in place.
"I thought you didn't want to help me get undressed?"
"I don't want to wait all night for you to do it either." Xena replied, letting the belt drop to the floor and unwrapping the leather skirt. She thought about helping the bard out of her breeches but decided against it. She didn't need the added temptation. "Now go to sleep." she said, giving the young woman a gentle shove back onto the bed.
"But I'm not tired. I feel good." her hands traveled back to her breasts. "Real good."
"Glad you're enjoying yourself, go to sleep."
"Aren't you coming to bed with me?" Gabrielle asked, scooting over and patting the empty space next to her.
"I'll be along in a little while." Xena replied. 'After you're asleep.' she thought to herself.
"If you're not going to sleep than I'm not going to sleep." she said defiantly. The warrior sighed and went to their saddlebags to look for their shifts. Finding them, she tossed one to Gabrielle and set hers over the edge of the chair. Within moments she was out of her leathers and into the soft cotton of her shift. She turned around and frowned to see the bard was still sitting there, the shift lying next to her. "I'm hot." the bard said in explanation.
"No kidding." Xena said wryly. She climbed into bed and turned her back to the younger woman. Instantly she felt Gabrielle press up against her, the hard nipples poking into her back.
"Xena…" she whispered as her arm snaked around the older woman's waist. "Haven't you ever wondered what it would be like?" her fingers twirled in small circles on the warrior's stomach.
"Gabrielle…I don't think now is a good time to discuss this. Go to sleep." she reached down to stop the bard's roving hand.
"Why not?" she pulled her hand out from under Xena's larger one and her fingers resumed their exploration, this time moving upward until they were dangerously close to the bottom of the warrior's right breast.
"Gabrielle…" she said in a warning tone, grabbing the bard's hand and putting it on her hip, figuring that it was safe. She was wrong. Within a heartbeat, Gabrielle began rubbing up and down the curve of the older woman's hip.
"That's it." Xena said, exasperated and tortured far more than she thought she ever deserved. "Roll over." the bard reluctantly complied. The warrior slid her arm around Gabrielle's waist and pulled her close. "Now go to sleep." she whispered into the younger woman's ear.
Everything was quiet and peaceful for a few moments and Xena thought that perhaps she had managed to get the bard to fall asleep. But soon she felt Gabrielle's hand moving against her own breasts. "What are you doing?"
"Nothing." the bard replied, her hands suddenly stilling. Xena felt the silent chuckle and groaned in frustration before rolling over so they were back to back. She thought about moving to the floor but worried that the incredibly amorous bard would slip out of the room in search of someone to satisfy her need. It wasn't long before she felt Gabrielle roll onto her back and soon heard the soft sighs that accompanied the self-pleasuring. Xena tried to concentrate on what needed to be done the next day, on how she should spend time brushing Argo, on any number of things in her attempt to ignore what was going on next to her. The sighs gave way to soft moans and Xena buried her head under her pillow. 'I'm only human.' she thought to herself, hoping that her friend would hurry up and finish so she could get to sleep and not have to think about it any longer. But no matter what the warrior tried, her keen hearing heard every sound, her body felt every motion of the bard's rocking hips. As if that wasn't bad enough, her body was reacting to the activity going on behind her back as well. Xena gritted her teeth and squeezed the pillow tighter around her head, wondering if she suffocated herself if it would ease the intense desire she had to roll over and turn Gabrielle from her best friend into something far more intimate. "Oh gods…oh…oh gods" the bard cried out as her body stiffened and her fingers moved with blinding speed against herself. She finally slumped back against the bed and let out a long sigh. 'Thank the gods.' Xena thought to herself as she stuffed the pillow back under her head and tried to settle down to sleep while ignoring the aching between her own legs.
A few moments later the blue eyes popped open as a soft hand moved up her thigh. Xena groaned to herself. It was most definitely going to be a long night.